But we all know, ya know? Mom’s present, like her mom gave uncle Dan and her mom gave grampa Jessie. And like probably like, totally his mom’s mom gave him too? Thinking of uncle Dan popping wood for grams is like totally barfacious, but like, at the same time, it’s like, pretty cool too, ya know? And grams is still kicking it too, so it’s like, totally possible for me and like, you know, her, too? To like, you know, practice the horizontal hula too. Grampa is like, you know, like, totally strict with her and doesn’t mind people knowing it.Not like dad. Dad’s like, you know, cool about it. Like, even now, you know, like he doesn’t you know, like bend her over the table in front of everyone and you know, like lift her skirt and like spank her butt in front of like, everyone? He like, asks her for like, a private word and stuff. Even though I’m like, you know, starting to understand like, you know, he doesn’t use words.Grampa does and I like, totally wonder if grams fucks up like, you. “He told me about his brilliant new assistant. It was obvious that he was in love, even then. Please update my file and continue to hold the envelope for me.”“Yes, ma’am.”“Come on. I’m not that old. I’s love to stay and chat, but I practically had to commandeer an airplane in order to get here. I don’t dare keep them waiting to fly me back. Please let me know when you plan to scatter his ashes. If it’s possible, I’d like to be there.” She lifted her veil. Despite the tear tracks on her cheeks and the smeared mascara, she was incredibly beautiful. “I loved him, too” She kissed me on the cheek and then left. I saw a limo waiting outside the doors of the funeral home. She stepped in and was gone.It was obvious my buddies weren’t intending to leave me alone for a while but Jordan managed to cut me out of the crowd when I went to retrieve the urn.“I’ve brought you something,” he said. “I don’t think I should be giving this to you but I’m going to file a statement that this is official.
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